“Blah, blah, blah!”

That’s what we hear when most people talk. And sometimes that’s what other people hear when WE talk, too.

Have you ever noticed that most people think of what they’re going to say, rather than listen to the person who is talking? But when it comes to negotiating, that can be a HUGE mistake! Here’s why…

Let’s say you’re talking to a seller about their house, and when you ask them to describe their situation, they just seem to go on & on about how wonderful the house is, the gossip about the neighbor, how their health is failing, etc.

A lot of people will be thinking how boring or irrelevant that is, and just want to get to the numbers, or instead – talk about themselves. Am I right??

But if you do that, you might just miss out on a very important detail you need when it’s time to negotiate a decent deal with them. 

Believe it or not, most people actually give you the secrets to selling them. All you have to do is listen.

Now I’m not suggesting that you just totally be quiet & let the other person dominate the conversation. You’ll never get off the phone that way! What you should do is lead the conversation by asking the right questions, and make sure that you LISTEN to exactly what they’re saying when they answer you.

How many times have you felt like you’re supposed to explain everything in perfect detail or give a mini-seminar when someone asks you a question? And how well did that work out for you?  Did it GET you the deal… or COST you the deal?

Here’s something that happened with me a few years ago that lead me to getting a house totally free & clear – for FREE! Just because I SHUT UP instead of talking & ruining everything…

I was dealing with a seller who was facing foreclosure and owed about $63,000 between a first & second mortgage that were both held by the same bank.

I let him tell me all about his situation, and this made him feel very comfortable with me & what I proposed to do.  Believe me, I was sooooo tempted to stop him a few times to ‘get back to the numbers.’  He kept going on & on about his house & his situation.  I recall feeling like I was about to fall asleep on more than one occasion.

After a looooong conversation, he finally told me that he just wanted to get rid of the house & move on with his life. 

BUT if I hadn’t taken the time to listen to how he had raised his family in the house, I never would have established the right rapport with him which later led to the beautiful thing that happened… (Stay tuned).  So I slapped myself awake & kept listening.

After the seller agreed to just deed the house to me, I spoke to the bank & made a discounted offer on the mortgages. Because of the location & condition of the house, along with the bank’s motivation, they accepted my offer of only $5,000 total for both mortgages!

Little did I know, the bank also told the seller they’d accepted my $5,000 offer, so the next time I talked to him, he surprised me when he said, “Tony, the bank let me know that they’ve accepted the offer for the $5,000.”

Even as I look back now, I can’t believe how stupid I almost was, because I came really close to saying that I would be paying that off for him. Thank God I kept my big mouth shut instead, because what he said next shocked me!

He told me, “I just want to let you know that I can pay that within a couple weeks.”!!!

Did you catch that? THE OWNER WAS GOING TO FUND MY SHORT SALE!!

I literally had to bite my tongue for a moment (because I was almost stupid again), then calmly said, “Ok. We need to get together to take care of some paperwork. When would be good for you – tomorrow or Thursday?” (I hoped he couldn’t hear me jumping up & down!)

But wait… It gets better! When we finally got together to take care of the deed, power of attorney, etc. (Yeah, this should have been one of the first things we did, but I was new at the time!), I had told him to bring all his paperwork with him regarding the house.

As I was going through the papers, I noticed a delinquent tax lien on the house that totaled about $1,000.  Of course, this had to be paid somehow, sooooo…

I decided to test my ‘new powers of silence’ in a negotiation. When I came across this paper, I just held it up & looked at him with a questioning look on my face.

And it worked! Within only 2-3 seconds of ‘uncomfortable’ silence, he said, “uhhh… I can pay that, too.”

Yes! This means that I now owned this house totally free and clear…and it didn’t cost me a PENNY! Well, I did buy dinner for his wife & him. It was the least I could do, right?  :)

I never forgot the lesson I learned that day. Since then, I’ve been able to negotiate some sweet deals – in both business & life, simply by keeping my big mouth shut & listening more.

Human nature never ceases to amaze me. Most people seem to think that silence is bad, so they feel like they have to fill it with unneeded words in a conversation!

Why not try this for yourself? The next time you’re in rapport with someone, try just being a little more quiet and listen more.

I can almost guarantee you that the other person will try to fill those ‘spaces’ in the conversation with unneeded words.  It’s amazing!

And be sure to keep this in mind when you’re negotiating with someone.

Remember to LISTEN and ask more QUESTIONS when you’re in a conversation.  This will truly help you establish rapport with someone.

Take mental note of what they say. You can use it to your mutual advantage later.

When they ask you a question, answer their question by asking them a question!

Million-dollar tip: When you’re talking to a seller (or buyer), just ask them, “What can you tell me about your situation?”  And then… SHUT UP & LISTEN!!!

If you pay close attention to what they tell you, they’ll practically give you the keys to their house.

Silence IS golden.  When used correctly, it can bring you untold riches!

As a wise man once said: “It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

Lesson learned.

Happy Negotiating,

Tony Pearl